Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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