as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
