is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
