you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
