Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
