So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
