It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
