i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
