if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Every concussion has its silver lining
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
