idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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