I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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