Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
