I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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