Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
