Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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