My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize