If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
