Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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