Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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