yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
