Your dad touched me again.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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