Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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