I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
