Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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