And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
