I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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