Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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