Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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