omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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