got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
