i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
