It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
