evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
