Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
