Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
