the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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