rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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