Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
