I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
