Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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