do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
