If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
