oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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