Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize