I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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