wakey wakey hands off snakey
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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