Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
