took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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