I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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