Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
