I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize