I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
