My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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