Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
