i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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