yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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