you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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