dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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