using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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