I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
