in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
